Ranking Every Christmas Episode of Bob's Burgers (so far)
In my heart and soul, I relate to Linda Belcher on a deep spiritual level. I often burst into song, I have a distinct laugh, and I love, love, LOVE Christmas. Just like their Thanksgiving and Halloween episodes, Bob’s Burgers really pulls out all the stops with their Christmas Episodes.
The Christmas episodes of Bob’s nearly always have excellent original songs (or in the case of “The Bleakening” - multiple amazing songs), strong holiday cheer, and heartwarming messages about the power of family and community. I love every Christmas episode, but some clearly stand above the others.
Note: Bob’s Burgers didn’t release holiday episodes until season 3, so that’s the earliest episode on this list.
What’s the Ranking Criteria for Bob’s Burgers Christmas Episodes?
Lest you think I simply swooped in and applied random personal preference, allow me to correct the record. While there are some episodes that I simply enjoy for being a good time, In order for something to be an effecting Christmas story in particular, it needs to fulfill certain elements.
Comedy: While Bob’s is one of the strongest family sitcoms out there today, some of their running jokes are stronger than others.
Cheer: How Christmas-y is the episode? Are there lots of lights? Snow? Celebrations?
Musicality: Bob’s best feature is the silly original songs that pepper the episodes. Sometimes they’re so bad they’re good, and sometimes they’re so good they’re good.
Pacing/Flow: Like any show around for 13 seasons, Bob’s has some hits and some misses. The pacing of each episode, plus how well any subplots apply to the main story, are important factors.
Every Bob’s Burgers Christmas Episode, Ranked
11. Yachty or Nice - Season 11 Episode 10
Overly competitive Bob is a hallmark of the show - and one of the things I love most about this show is the ways they’re willing to make every character occasionally unlikable in order to maintain their authenticity. Unfortunately, with Bob and Jimmy Pesto feud episodes, the potential to go past the point of humor is always there, and in this episode they go too far. Bob is hired to cater a yacht club Christmas that Jimmy Pesto also attends. He’s so paranoid that Jimmy Pesto is going to sabotage it that he sabotages himself. Though the ending is sweet, Bob’s anxiety is more distressing than funny, and the animation sells how cold and dreary the pier is at Christmas, making for a decidedly un-Christmas-Magical episode.
Best line of the episode: “You don’t need pants, Trev! You’ve got great knees!” - Gene
10. Better Off Sled - Season 9 Episode 10
When a huge snow storm hits town at the beginning of winter break, the kids and their friends (including some kids we’ve never seen before and seemingly never will again) gather to sled. Unfortunately, their only sledding spot is also a prime snowball fight spot for Louise’s archenemy, Logan. Though it’s a strong episode, “Better Off Sled” is unfortunately pretty short on actual Christmas content. I actually forgot it was a Christmas episode at all until I went to write this post. It has touches of sweet moments (Rudy’s childish snowsuit, Linda and Bob’s knitting competition) so while it’s low on Christmas, it’s big on heart.
Best line of the episode: “Rudy’s cousin is Brienne of Tarth!” - Gene
9. Nice-Capades - Season 6 Episode 5
Gene, Tina, and Louise accidentally antagonize a mall Santa in their quest to use the free massage chairs in what was clearly a parody of The Sharper Image. Terrified they’re going to get coal, Louise orchestrates an elaborate ice show to prove to Santa they deserve to be on the nice list. This episode has always fallen a little flat to me; I think it’s because Louise’s machinations aren’t great comedy fodder in this context. To me, Louise as a character always works best when she’s delightfully anarchical, not straight up duplicitous. The lesson is good but the execution falls a little bit flat. This episode does have an excellent song, though - Mr. Fischoeder’s ode to alcohol, “The Spirits of Christmas.”
Best Line of the Episode: “I don’t think dad’s weird grizzly hands are that weird.” - Tina
8. Gene’s Christmas Break - Season 12 Episode 10
When Gene accidentally rolls onto his favorite Christmas record and breaks it, the family rallies around him to try and replace it. Gene is the least favorite character of many fans, so I always appreciate episodes that give Gene depth, like this one. The family tries so hard to cheer Gene up, it’s got a little cameo from Doug and Courtney, and it’s a pretty sweet episode. Unfortunately it’s low on actual Christmas, and the record is a lot more inscrutable than festive. It’s a solid episode, but it doesn’t bring the cheer quite as much as other Christmas episodes.
Best Line of the Episode: Bob’s terrible singing
7. Father of the Bob - Season 5 Episode 6
Bob has a firm rule for dealing with his father - out in fifteen minutes. For years, Bob has managed Big Bob’s passive-aggressive digs through straight-up avoidance, until Linda forces a confrontation. For years I was not a fan of this episode - Bob’s relationship with his dad is painful to watch, especially if you’ve also struggled with a critical parent. But Big Bob’s commitment to community, the way they love their respective families and people, and their mutual love of food is so tender. The fact that Bob and his dad have a heart-to-heart while line-dancing is just the cherry on top.
Best Line of the Episode: “You’ve got happy kids, junior. Weird, happy kids.” - Big Bob
6. Have Yourself a Maily Linda Christmas - Season 10 Episode 10
Since Linda is the Christmas superfan in the family, it’s always lovely to have a Linda-centric Christmas episode (still waiting for Tina to get one!). Mike the mailman gets Linda a job as a seasonal sorter at the post office so the Belchers have some extra money at Christmas. When a man comes in at the last minute with an urgent delivery, Linda takes it upon herself to make sure it gets out in time for Christmas. It’s nice to see the writers give comedy legend Tim Meadows more material, and the subplot where Bob tries to keep the peace with Gayle and Linda’s parents is hilarious. It’s not especially wonderful, but it’s a great episode.
Best Line of the Episode: “Awe, eating a tin can lookin’ at Jesus.” - Linda
5. Die Card, or Card Trying - Season 11 Episode 12
This episode didn’t air until after Valentine’s day, but since it premiered in a season with a real dud of an actual Christmas episode and it’s so good, I put it on the list. Linda is absolutely sick and tired of getting terrible Christmas card photos, so she forces her family on a hike in the winter to get the perfect shot. Louise’s serial killer face is nothing short of iconique. Linda’s heartbreaking monologue on the pressures she feels to have the perfect family really hits home. It’s a genuine encapsulation at the pressures many people feel around Christmas, and it has some of the ridiculous irreverence that makes Bob’s Burgers great (that was often absent from later seasons).
Best line of the episode: Louise’s serial killer face.
4. The Bleakening - Season 8 Episodes 6
Bob’s Burgers can be surprisingly spooky, and they pulled it off really well in “The Bleakening.” This episode originally aired as 2 episodes but is now classified as one extra-long episode. The lack of Christmas spirit starts to trouble Linda. She sets out to host the best Christmas party ever - but her spirit is dashed when a mysterious neighborhood thief steals her mini tree decked out with some of the kids’ handmade ornaments. Their quest to find the missing tree takes them to a mysterious warehouse in the middle of the night. It’s a musical episode with multiple fantastic numbers. Todrick Hall makes an appearance as a drag queen (Merry XXXmas) and sings an absolute BOP! The name of the episode refers to both the bleakness that Linda tries to combat, and the Krampus-like figure (the Bleaken) that the kids are convinced stole the tree.
Best Line of the Episode: The Bleaken is Coming - a badass metal song with great harmonies.
3. Christmas in the Car - Season 4 Episode 8
The opening vignette of this episode (where Bob keeps having to throw away the dead Christmas trees Linda puts up too early) is one of the most iconic in the show - sparking a thousand social media invitations. When Linda keeps buying Christmas trees too early, the family must sojourn to a faraway tree lot on Christmas Eve. A disgruntled candy cane truck driver spoils their plans for a quiet evening, leaving them stranded in the snow. Jingle in the Jungle is an iconic Bob’s song, and the side plot where the kids trap Teddy instead of Santa is brilliant. As a bonus: the show is loosely based on a sketch John Roberts (the voice of Linda) did that went viral and got him the job on the show!
Best Line of the Episode: “Oh, it’s a preemie just like Jesus.” - Linda
2. Bob Rest Ye Merry Gentle-Mannequins - Season 3 Episode 9
“Bob Rest Ye Merry Gentle-Mannequins” shows off the kid’s rascally behavior to more charming effect than “Nice-Capades.” It also captures the gleeful irreverence that was an early hallmark of the show. When Bob inherits his uncle’s storage unit, he unwittingly inherits a former employee (Chet) who is convinced he used to be a mannequin. Zach Galifinakis guest-starred as Chet so well that he eventually got a longer-term role of Felix Fischoeder. This episode has the lovable chaos and absurdity of early seasons, with the bonus holiday visual of Chet’s many creative displays!
Best Line of the Episode: “This was no movie. This was retail.” - Chet
1.The Last Gingerbread House on the Left - Season 7 Episode 7
On a family Christmas carol outing, Bob gets roped into being a patsy in an annual gingerbread building contest. Mr. Fischoeder, tired of being the “pottyhead”, offers Bob free rent in exchange for losing on purpose. The five eccentric millionaires build houses that would make a Food Network judge weep while engaging in a healthy dose of garbage mouth. Meanwhile, Linda and Teddy take the kids caroling to a deceptively creepy house. The episode has a delightfully lawless edge and a surprisingly softhearted ending - just like the best Christmas.
Best Line of the episode: “You think you’re so much better than me, Calvin, just because you came out of Mommy’s hootenanny before me!” - Felix Fischoeder
