For time management, you can make this crust a day before.
Wash your hands. Making pastry is a very hands-on experience.
Whisk together the flour, sugar, and salt into a large mixing bowl.
Using the side of a cheese grater with larger holes, grate the frozen butter into the flour. Use the wrapper of the butter or a piece of parchment paper to hold it, both to protect your skin from being grated and also to keep the butter from melting in your hands.
Stir frequently to keep the butter from clumping. Do not overmix the butter; it should be about the consistency of oatmeal flakes.
Once the butter is fully incorporated, shape the mix into a loose dome in the center of the bowl. Begin dribbling the water or vodka along the side, and mix into the flour and butter using your hand like a scoop to keep it together. Mix in one direction. Do this until the dough has just begun to come together.
Prepare a lightly floured surface. Scoop up the loose pastry, and transfer to the flour surface. Using the heel of your hand (not your palm), smear one side of the dough away from you about 6 inches. Scoop it back together, rotate a quarter turn, and do the same to the next side of the dough. Do this until the dough just resembles a fully formed crust (about 5 or 6 times). This technique is called “fraisage” and it’s the final step to fully blending your pastry. Tip: don’t overly blend your pastry! The butter will keep the crust together well, and too much kneading at this stage will activate the gluten in the flour too much and make the dough tough.
Once your pastry is blended, knead it gently into a smooth ball and cover it with an airtight wrap. Let it rest in the fridge for at least 12 hours. If you’re in a time crunch: put it in the freezer for 2 hours. However, you will need to beat the dough into submission to make it pliable enough to handle when it comes out of the freezer.
After your crust has chilled, sprinkle flour over a squeaky-clean counter or rolling mat.
Begin rolling out your dough by rolling the pin into the pastry away from you, then lifting your dough, turning it 90 degrees and repeating. Sprinkle flour as needed to keep the dough from sticking. Roll the dough out this way until it’s about 1/8 inch thick and generally circular. The high butter content makes this dough very springy, so it may snap back into place several times.
Transfer the dough onto a 9 inch pie tin or plate and gently press on it to form it to the bottom. Use sharp kitchen scissors to cut off the excess crust around the edge, and decorate the edges to your liking.
Put the crust in its pie plate back in the fridge to stay chilled while you prepare the custard portion of the pie.
For the Custard/Pie Filling
Preheat your oven to 375℉.
In a large mixing bowl,
Beat together all ingredients except the spices, salt, and heavy cream with an electric mixer, whisk, or rotary beater until smooth and fully combined.
In a small bowl, whisk together the spices and salt.
Add the spice mixture to the filling, and mix in completely.
Pour the mixture into your prepared pie shell.
Brush the crust lightly with the whole milk or cream. To protect the crust even more, wrap a sheet of aluminum foil or a crust protector around the crust only (not the filling).
Bake for 50-55 minutes, until the outer 4 inches is set and no longer jiggly (the middle of the pie should continue to set as it cools).
Set aside to cool while you make the whipped cream.
For the Whipped Cream
Put you mixing bowl in the freezer so it's nice and cold.
Beat the cream, sugar, and vanilla in a cold mixing bowl on medium speed until it forms your desired consistency.Tip: Keep an eye on your cream. If it starts to curdle or separate, you've over-mixed and you'll need to start over.
Plop onto your cooled pumpkin pie in Leslie Knope-esque proportions.